I AM NOT FRIGHTENED

I am not frightened
I am not frightened of anything
The more I suffer, the more I love
Danger will only increase my love
It will sharpen it
It will give it spice
I will be the only angel u need
U will leave life even more beautiful than u entered it
heaven will take u back and look at u and say
only one thing can make a soul complete
and that thing is love
-------------------------------------------------------------------

i am still questioning myself have i ever loved someone
i still dont have the answer
once the feeling is so real
but suddenly it can be so unreal
i dont know if i am dreaming or not

but i am the faith in god
he will lead me to the right way
to the right life
to the right man
he is the light
he is the lord
he is always there
i know
he is

it's all about love

actually there was a time
i wanted to abandon this blog
because of some log in problems
but now seems everything's fine
so that's good
:D

back to the theme all about love
its all about love
everything
all about love

i watched the reader
let the right one in
all good films
really good
make ppl think
and make ppl cry
i cry when hanna is on court
and declared that she's gonna stay behind bars all her life
and michael read to her
every day every night
it's all about love
michael was very young

he was ashamed of the affair with Hanna
but Hanna was ashame of she couldnt read and write
what a shame
not every story ends up happy
a lot is some kinda tragedy
yet that's the truth of life
like tatanic
only few life story ends up like the notebook
snow white
it's like those are just novel
just story
just something we looking forward to
but in real life
these cant happen

just cant
probably i am shamed 2...
just all of what i had done when i was 15
it's a shame
a sweet shame
a sweet sin
but i need to walk out of that memory
i have a life
just need some more time
trust me
i can~

i never love him be4 and will never after

i know it
but how come i keep dreaming about him these days
i said i dont like him
i never really fall in love with him
why
why?
why i keep dreaming about him
why why?

so the truth is that i didnt really love him

yeah
he's not someone the i have really really loved
though i've cried 4 him
being heart broken
but the feeling is not real
everything is not real
i was never in love with him

天空很黑，我看不到星星

晚上从图书馆出来，抬头，看了看天空
发现深蓝的天空，没有1颗星星点缀
还记得小学的时候，一次去夏令营，去了郊区
晚上抬头看到满天闪闪发亮的星星
还有望远镜，可以看到土星

这让我想到了东湖
3，4岁的时候，夏天一到
爸爸妈妈就带我去东湖游泳
那清澈见底的湖水
还有石头，我穿这那件红色的游泳衣
还有游泳圈
只是不知道什么时候一切都消失了
东湖没有清澈的湖水
剩下死鱼和臭水
眼睁睁看着湖医的废水流进东湖
心理不是滋味

今天英语口试
话题是wealth
的确钱很重要
我不否认
我在想在他们工资都没有1千的时候，
我们住在4楼的小房子
现在的确
家里的经济好了
住的房子大了
是不是我更开心了
不是的
我很想回到那时
至少是1家人
虽然我对父亲没有什么感觉
他从来没有敬过他的责任
他会的只是指责

还有他
一句对不起
就玩了
真的不够男人
当面都没有说清楚
枉我还那么爱他
囧
过去就过去了
我是拿得起放得下的人！

我的阿森纳
我爱你
永远的
永远的
圣诞的魔鬼战役来了
我的魔鬼期末+面试来了
we stand up like a soldier
we fight together
we stand shoulder to shoulder
no one can bring us down
cos we are fighter
face it
and kill the enemy
no way back now
we never look back
cos WE ARE GUNNERS!
WE NEED BALLS
fight
fight
fight
no looking back

early winter

gwen Stefani
i remember the first time i heard her song, she was still in No doubt...
than her first album LAMB
what you waiting for

cool
this song is that summer 2005, the year i had the hardest time during that summer vacation.

i can never be as cool as gwen
i can't pretend nothing happened
forget about friends
it's just bullshit
we are nothing now
it's like everything is going away a long time
i admit it was sweet
but it was over
and i know it will over
we cant be forever
nothing last forever
i know this
but why i still felt so sad

i did had a bad day went back in Sept, 2005
i thought u too
but how come you get things pass so easy
i even said that u don't love me any more
u said that love is too tired
why?
why?
how?
how?
i don't believe
i cried
i screamed
i was desperate
BUT NOW
I TELL MYSELF EVERYDAY
LOVE IS NOT HIM
LOVE IS ME
LOVE IS MORE THAN THAT
he is not that person
i knew it
i knew it
but i just can't shake those memories
---------------------
Daniel Powter is just awesome
stop the talk
walk the walk

The all american rejects

I remember the first time listen to their song MOVE ALONG on MTV in 2005. And later their single IT ENDS TONIGHT. Feel so much about those lines WHEN DARKNESS TURNS TO LIGHT IT ENDS TONIGHT. And this morning suddenly listen to STRAITJACKET FEELING, So many feelings flow out. RUN AWAY THIS TIME WITHOUT U. 2005 i was feeling that so much. Tell me it is already over. But why i still dream about him saturday. It ends when i don't even give him all my love. It ends the moment that i am falling deeper and deeper for him. But why? Tell me why, why goodbye? I love u...no, i loved you...

love

i dont know if i still have the ability to fall in love again

sometimes i just wish i was one of the diva in those touching love movies

like tatanic, the notebook, pearl harbour

there will be a man who could just always be there for me

i guess there is no such man in real life

they are just some characteristic in fictions

right at this moment

i have to ask myself 

WHAT IS LOVE?

and

WHERE IS LOVE?

it has been so long since last time

i don't even know what is love

i was so young

like i just dont even know what love is

how can i go so close with him those years..

funny

whatever...

but there will be that special person right?

at least i believe

one guy who goes crazy everytime sees me

right?

and i am crazy 2

surely there will be this guy

i thought i may never have child all my life

cos it's horrible

but if that is someone i really love

if i marry him

and i really love him

i do want kids...

see

this is how people change

i feel nothing when i see handsome guys

i am doubting whether i have the ability to fall in love again

it's been more than 3 years

i havent fall in love since then

i don't know where it went wrong

but at least i wanna make sure i could start all over again

is it because i havent met someone that i could fall

or that my heart has already dead

pointless relationship

it was all pointless

i never really fall in love with him

why is him?

lying in the bed we used to

the sheet was the same as those days.

mom changed that for me

suddenly those memory flowed

time went back to 2005

i was 15

i got the best present that year

it doesn't matter what is the present

what matter is the person who gives u 

sometimes i still reminisce especially when i watch couples holding hands walking together

why is him again?

holding hands together

he walked me home...

just why

we kissed

why is him who appear in my dream?

it ends 3 years ago

everything ended long time ago

why is him still haunting me?

i should have already get over them

i cant forget.

why forget?

it ends tonight

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain 

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends 

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

when darkness turns to light

it ends tonight

and it is really better to leave me along

tell me when the night is over

we are not over

but that night

after that phone call

and those messages.

everything ends

end of a era

it was a end of me and u

the story ends there

absolutely it was not the end i want

but think back

can we really go that far

there would still be an end one day

maybe not july 8th 2005

maybe some day later

there would be a goodbye

think back that wasn't a bad goodbye

at least we had it

the point is that at least we had it

that is enough

i know i would be regret if i hadn't tell him i love him

once is enough

and i know that once is really enough

forever is so hard

but we had it

once we had it

and those memories were sweet

i know i have loved u

为什么总是我的错？

小时候培优班的学费

现在是奖学金

难道是我的命运吗？？

出了事情总是怪我

是我的理解力有问题吗？

到底该怎么样？

就像你当年说分手

我们还是好朋友一样？

只是安慰我的一句话吗？

你知道那天我转身是哭着跑开的吗？

你知道你生日那天

我们的对话

伤了我多深吗？

你知道

我一直都放不下你吗？
你知道

其实我一直都没有再恋爱吗？

你知道

我一直都在等你开口和我说话吗？

你知道我一直喜欢的都是你吗？

对不起这3个字

我不想再听到

我好像有人抱抱我

我也是个女人

我也有脆弱的一面

我真的希望

在你面前

i could bare my soul

我可以不用假装anything

i could be the real me

我好像你抱着我

整个世界只有我们

对不起。

我真的很希望

那个夏天

我们还在一起

伤心的时候

总是想到你

因为

我哭了

你总可以安慰我

让我笑

过去的事情

为什么要那么美好

boyfriend

mom and I talked about BOYFRIEND today

i haven't really talked to her about everything happened 4 years ago

all the first times

SHE told me not to fall so easily

i don't know how to tell her

i was once in love with a boy

and we did so much crazy things

all those things i don't know how to say

i never really tell her the relastionship between us

she still thought we were just gooood friends

but we have actually cross that line

i am sorry

i am not such a good girl

--------------------------

PATD said that EMO IS BULLSHIT

i don't know

i know that PATD is awesome

i can't say anything

more

i don't know what to say

EMO is not BULLSHIT

at least secondhand serenade's songs made think about a lot about before

i don't know what to say

all these story seems too long

but suddenly it seems too short

everything's gone

he is gone

so long ago

dreamed about FRAN MERIDA

amazing dream

he's so hot

and i just can't stop thinking about him 

god we kissed

I LOVE FRAN MERIDA

tears

i know it is hard to say anything more

about him

ABOUT A BOY

i know him

but he may not know me

i should know that there would be no result

why i still keep trying to hold on to him

mom told me that 

THERE IS NO WAY FATHER WON'T INTERVENE MY RELATIONSHIP

sometimes i really wish he could just pretend for a second

let me have the feeling several years ago

i never be with another one again

but i know it is impossible

even if he pretend i may not feel the same before

but just one thing i wanna know

what happened that summer

why he changed so much

how can he be a million miles away from me like we were in 2 galaxies

his parents forced he to break up

i don't know much

cos he didin't tell me much

they said that he wanted to protect me

is this the last thing he can do for me

dreams of u and me....

i hope that dream never ends

the story 'bout us

the love between us

i hope everything never ends

maybe we will never c each other again

this life

maybe next life

if we could meet

i think i'll fall in love with u again 

my love

i don't know what to say about us

cos i don't need to say

u know everything i  thought

never again

no my love

no mi amor

U GOTTA ROCK MY WORLD

THE ACADEMY IS....

i miss u..........

when mom mention the word BOYFRIEND to me.

all i am thinking is u

and i can't help tears falling

i miss u..

i know we haven't talk for like 2 or 3 years...

no my love

i know i could go on without u...

but it seems so hard..

mi amor

i love u...

i know we can't go back to 15 but just let me know we could still be friends........

but now we are totally stranger

i feel so strange

baby

i love brendon urie!!

he's so cute

and so funny 

that kinda guy i want!!

THE REASON WHY

"The Reason Why"

Yesterday

I waited for your friends to walk away

So I could say just what I mean

I know we're moving fast

We're running from the past

I'm holding on before it fades away

Could it be that maybe it's our first mistake

And Baby that's alright

It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight

There's a reason why they say that we should give it time

But time is not enough

And that's the reason why

When you're young you fall in love

Standing still

I'm waiting round to see if this is real

Cause I feel like I'm asleep

I'll open up my eyes

Cause you might be the type

Of girl that makes me dream when I'm awake

Could it be that maybe it's our first mistake

And baby that's alright

It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight

There's a reason why they say that we should give it time

But time is not enough

And that's the reason why

When you're young you fall in love

So tell me can this really work

Or will we end up getting hurt

Is this love or myth

So tell me are you in for this

There's so much than we can see

More than you

More than me

It takes two to believe

Maybe it's our first mistake

And baby that's alright

It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight

Maybe it's our first mistake

And baby that's alright

It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight

There's a reason why they say that we should give it time

But time is not enough

And that's the reason why

When you're young you fall in love

That's the reason why when you're young you fall in love

That's the reason why when you're young you fall in love

with my fav movie

the notebook!

no premier league this weekend

international game this week...............

Estonia v Spain, October 11th, Belgium v Spain, October 14th.

i hope cesc not start all these 2 games, otherwise he'll be 2 tired 

we have the home game again EVERTON next sunday...

just hope to win....

good luck to THEO....

wish a hat trick