天空很黑，我看不到星星

晚上从图书馆出来，抬头，看了看天空
发现深蓝的天空，没有1颗星星点缀
还记得小学的时候，一次去夏令营，去了郊区
晚上抬头看到满天闪闪发亮的星星
还有望远镜，可以看到土星

这让我想到了东湖
3，4岁的时候，夏天一到
爸爸妈妈就带我去东湖游泳
那清澈见底的湖水
还有石头，我穿这那件红色的游泳衣
还有游泳圈
只是不知道什么时候一切都消失了
东湖没有清澈的湖水
剩下死鱼和臭水
眼睁睁看着湖医的废水流进东湖
心理不是滋味

今天英语口试
话题是wealth
的确钱很重要
我不否认
我在想在他们工资都没有1千的时候，
我们住在4楼的小房子
现在的确
家里的经济好了
住的房子大了
是不是我更开心了
不是的
我很想回到那时
至少是1家人
虽然我对父亲没有什么感觉
他从来没有敬过他的责任
他会的只是指责

还有他
一句对不起
就玩了
真的不够男人
当面都没有说清楚
枉我还那么爱他
囧
过去就过去了
我是拿得起放得下的人！

我的阿森纳
我爱你
永远的
永远的
圣诞的魔鬼战役来了
我的魔鬼期末+面试来了
we stand up like a soldier
we fight together
we stand shoulder to shoulder
no one can bring us down
cos we are fighter
face it
and kill the enemy
no way back now
we never look back
cos WE ARE GUNNERS!
WE NEED BALLS
fight
fight
fight
no looking back

early winter

gwen Stefani
i remember the first time i heard her song, she was still in No doubt...
than her first album LAMB
what you waiting for

cool
this song is that summer 2005, the year i had the hardest time during that summer vacation.

i can never be as cool as gwen
i can't pretend nothing happened
forget about friends
it's just bullshit
we are nothing now
it's like everything is going away a long time
i admit it was sweet
but it was over
and i know it will over
we cant be forever
nothing last forever
i know this
but why i still felt so sad

i did had a bad day went back in Sept, 2005
i thought u too
but how come you get things pass so easy
i even said that u don't love me any more
u said that love is too tired
why?
why?
how?
how?
i don't believe
i cried
i screamed
i was desperate
BUT NOW
I TELL MYSELF EVERYDAY
LOVE IS NOT HIM
LOVE IS ME
LOVE IS MORE THAN THAT
he is not that person
i knew it
i knew it
but i just can't shake those memories
---------------------
Daniel Powter is just awesome
stop the talk
walk the walk

It can't be him

But the truth is him.:-( i don't know what to say. It is complicated. More than 3 years have passed, i don't know why i still can't shake those memories. It is just so hard. I feel frustrated. He constantly appears in my dream. Why did i think about him when i feel helpless?

it is his Bday

i try to forget

but i can't 

3 years ago

the very last conversation

i decided to forget everything 

leave that relationship behand and start a new life

now that i'm sure

i wanna a new life

i can live a wonderful life without anyone

maybe weve tried

maybe it is that we r not a match

maybe it is not love between us

betray?

it was because of his mother or that he loved her?

that might be the reason...

i don't know

i just have the feeling of being betrayed

why is him?

lying in the bed we used to

the sheet was the same as those days.

mom changed that for me

suddenly those memory flowed

time went back to 2005

i was 15

i got the best present that year

it doesn't matter what is the present

what matter is the person who gives u 

sometimes i still reminisce especially when i watch couples holding hands walking together

why is him again?

holding hands together

he walked me home...

just why

we kissed

why is him who appear in my dream?

it ends 3 years ago

everything ended long time ago

why is him still haunting me?

i should have already get over them

i cant forget.

why forget?

i was wrong that was not the last

i wrote something last week 

i decided that was the last piece i wrote about u

I WAS SO WRONG

there will never be the end

u & me

though we r apart now

if i could have one chance

if u could just pretend for 1 day

that is enough for me

let me feel it one more time

just tell u 

u r not so far.

为什么总是我的错？

小时候培优班的学费

现在是奖学金

难道是我的命运吗？？

出了事情总是怪我

是我的理解力有问题吗？

到底该怎么样？

就像你当年说分手

我们还是好朋友一样？

只是安慰我的一句话吗？

你知道那天我转身是哭着跑开的吗？

你知道你生日那天

我们的对话

伤了我多深吗？

你知道

我一直都放不下你吗？
你知道

其实我一直都没有再恋爱吗？

你知道

我一直都在等你开口和我说话吗？

你知道我一直喜欢的都是你吗？

对不起这3个字

我不想再听到

我好像有人抱抱我

我也是个女人

我也有脆弱的一面

我真的希望

在你面前

i could bare my soul

我可以不用假装anything

i could be the real me

我好像你抱着我

整个世界只有我们

对不起。

我真的很希望

那个夏天

我们还在一起

伤心的时候

总是想到你

因为

我哭了

你总可以安慰我

让我笑

过去的事情

为什么要那么美好

littlest things

lily allen's song......

really feel something...

"Littlest Things"

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing

Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'

And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's

All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses

I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood

I don't why I trusted you but I knew that I could

We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt

I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

[Chorus]

Dreams, Dreams

Of when we had just started things

Dreams of you and me

It seems, It seems

That I can't shake those memories

I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there

I know it sounds lame but its so true

I know its not right, but it seems unfair

That the things are reminding me of you

Sometimes I wish we could just pretend

Even if only for one weekend

So come on, Tell me

Is this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed

Watching DVD's

When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines

You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers

As if we ever needed anything to entertain us

the first time that you introduced me to your friends

and you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand

when I was feeling down, you made that face you do

There's no one in the world that could replace you

[Chorus]

Dreams, Dreams

Of when we had just started things

Dreams of me and you

It seems, It seems

That I can't shake those memories

I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there

I know it sounds lame but its so true

I know its not right, but it seems unfair

That the things reminding me of you

Sometimes I wish we could just pretend

Even if only for one weekend

So come on, Tell me

Is this the end?

i don't know why..it just remind me of him....

i never really forget him

i don't know what to do with those memories

watching people around me have that one with them

i don't know what to say, what to do

just that is gone

it's gone

i won't c him again

but he always has a place in my heart i know this and i won't deny what happened that year. the best time of my life, with him

i was so happy but now i feel so lonely

sometimes i just wish i could just pretend if only just for one moment, just hold my hand. that is enough,tell me, he always love me.

that is enough....