irrationality course arrangement

without a course about Ordinary differential equation

jump soooo much to the partial differential equation

that make the course more difficult

so much different between my school and MIT

i c the reason why MIT is a world top school

they r really awesome

this makes me think about that again

why u broke my dream

I may could go to CAMBRIDGE

WHY WHY WHY??????

U DAMN FUCKING LIFE DESTROY...

havent u done enough?????????

u know HOW MUCH i wanna go to britain

there is no reason for u to stop me 

u just thought that I choose this is the best for u

because u can show off when u havin meals with ur colleagues and friends

u never care my feelings

i know i am jealous

of those people who can go abroad

i wanna be the best

but it just i am not now

i am still me

right?

tell me?

forget about it...

MIT is awesome

about 2 weeks ago

i was doing the maths assignment and i found MIT's channel

anyway i thought it might help then i suscribed

today i watch one video about solving differential equations.

the professor is AWESOME

really AWESOME

it's like he could keep u concentrate on for the whole class

well actually when i am having classes..

i could concentrate on no more than 20 minute..

:(

he use the funny example

susan and george's love to explain 

differential equation with complex eigenvalue

that's was fun

and it really worked.

all the examples are awesome

not too complicated

but somewhat easy understant

and they give notes to students....

it is so much different 

WE TAKE NOTES HERE

but they give notes.

:(

that is the difference....

making me want to go to the US sooooooo much...............

work harder..........

i know i wasnt suppose to think about this once again....

but what if i went to BRITAIN a year ago..

my life could be totally different...

everything....

what can i say more????

FUCK HIM

HE DISTORY ALL MY LIFE...

damm u..................

LIFE IS UNFAIR

a man look sexiest when his hair is wet

just like brenton

he's wet hair...

just finishin some exercises

FRAN MERIDA starts the game!

so excited as those young players had a 6-0 victory at home against sheff united.

this was the first time fran starts the game!

I should remember this.

keep on fran

i love u~

;)

suddenly understant EIGENFUNCTION

GREAT!!!

i was confusing about this STURM-LIOUVILLE PROBLEMS

mainly the part of eigenvalue and eigenfunction

any value of λ that permits the existence of nontrivial solutions is called an eigenvalue, the  corresponding nontrivial solution is called an ENGENFUNCTION

cerebral concussion

what i remember?

i don't mean that i have a cerebral concussion, but him

that was about April, 2005.

he crashed into somebody else...

he haven't come to school for about a week.

i was telling him that i want to go to his house to c him

but he refused

after he came back

he had a black eye..

i remember on that monday he came back to school

he walked me home

holdin hands together

that was actually sweet

whatever these r just memories...

some sweet memories

just like back when i was in WUHAN

we usually go out on FRIDAY AFTERNOON

more than half the class

but after i left 

i never go out with classmate anymore

though sometimes i may go out with my friends

just 1 or 2

never so much people, like more than 20

sometimes i was thinkin that maybe it is that changing a new place make me lock myself inside

but the time i feel the change is in high school

i don't wanna hide but he did change me a lot

i can say that he changed me a loti

n many ways

actually after these years i know that i grow up a lot

more mature than i was 15

i may think a lot before i do someting 

so much changed maybe that is the reason i can't make things go back

and i could tell that I AM HEAL!

all the pain is gone

for sure

what has left is only those sweet times we spent together

i won't expect to c him one day

maybe this is what called destiny

;)

what we ever had is enough

i won't deny everything

all i know is that i loved him

i want

i know what i am thinkin

but how long do i have 2 wait

i dont wanna waste time

i trslly dont want to wait any more..................................

3 years is too long

:(

  

ERIC DILL!!!!!

God, he is so hooooooooot!!!!
the former TC5 vocal................
i could still remember their first single JUST THE GIRL
it was like the first time i just love them!

now ERIC is a solo singer
also appear in some films...

damn....that sweet dream..

it's MICHAEL CERA....

fuck....

why him?

no...

it's can't be him.........

why him...

but is was awesome to having him in my dream..........

damn it.....

kisses..

i never imagine that 

Dartmouth

This school is awesome

right now i don't know what i am going to learn after graduation but certainly i know that i want to go to Britain or The states

just need to work hard.

i know i could.

just wait for me Michael

寻找什么？

我也不知道

我到底在寻找什么

或许我已经习惯把音量打到最大

听我喜欢的音乐，只是唱的那人变了

从我曾经的挚爱aaron,到rock my world 的gil,再到现在的Panic! at the disco

很多事情都在改变

想想从前，我的mp3里全部都是aaron的歌，他的每一首歌，我都回唱。不过高中之后，我对aaron的狂热逐渐减少了。我的世界里出现了另一个歌手，gil.我能记得，那个黑暗，孤独的夜晚，2005年6月30日，是gil的那首if u only knew陪伴着我

I'd give you anything,

Everything,
To have you be mine.
I'd give the stars above,
And all my love,
How can you be so blind?
 
So blind?
I'm going out of my mind,
All the time,
For you,
Yes it's true.

那个晚上，是gil的歌陪伴着我的。之后的那段艰难的时期，一直都有gil.我现在真的很难想象，如果我的高中生活里没有gil会怎样。其实，那段时间，我挺消极的，从here i am 到the album,gil登上的流行的巅峰，但随后就。。。

因为和唱片公司的分歧，出了一张精选就解约了。虽然之后和neotone签约，但毕竟neotone不是BMG，他没有再像以前那么红了。

但我从on my own里，我看到了一个真实的Gil,在迷失了自我之后，从新找到自己...

没一首歌，都在讲述一个故事，你不懂gil,他当时只有18岁，和我一样，或许他只是想rock in his own way.也许就像流星一样，最亮的时候再天空中划过，然后就陨落了。

On My own 强调的是，心理的愤怒，我想要做我自己。。。

然后到zoo army的507

gil,长大了，脸上少了几分稚嫩，多了几分沧桑，很难想象gil今年才26岁，看着他现在的照片，我总觉得他是大叔，而不是哥哥。多了几分性感。当年飘逸的短发不复存在，深沉的声音...

在灵魂上的共鸣，让我疯狂的爱上了GIL OFARIM这个德国另类摇滚歌手，在最艰难的高三。在我想放弃的时候，那首 i'm alive让我坚持下来了，在我放弃的时候，让我有坚持下来的信念。

去年，高考结束之后，大家都谈得很好，我以为我可以去英国了。但是我万万没有想到，我最后会选择了这个，当时，这个是the last choice, i never really think about attand this faculty

civil engineering...

是一个soooooo陌生的东西，你不知道，how much i enjoy in the lab doing experiment, seeing those cells, being with those micro creatures,It was awesome

尽管他和我说，生物没有什么好的，但你不知道，i much i am interesting in it, and the strong passion for it.

我知道现在没有什么可以改变的了，我已经走上了一条不归之路，我永远也不可能进实验室了。去探究生命，去赞叹大自然的神奇，美妙。让我感觉到每一个原子，或许这是我的命？

我从来都不感激来了广州，我从来都不喜欢这个所谓的大城市，我承认，广州的确比武汉在经济上好一点。但是，8年了，我还是没有适应这里，妈妈浑身都是病，难熬的4，5月潮湿的春天，衣服不干，到处长酶。或许我还是怀念当年在武汉的日子。毕竟我是一个土生土长的武汉人。如果没有来广州，或许，我现在会在武汉大学，就在家旁，夏天还能和我的朋友们去测绘游泳，晚上去街边买小吃，不用担心会上火，还有美人蕉，我真的好想你，广州我看不到，红色的，黄色的。还有搅搅糖，2毛钱，我们就搅到家门口，然后吃掉。还有小学边上的烧饼，面窝，酥饺...真的好多年都没有吃过了。周末早晨，我拿着2个盒子去买早餐，2块的热干面和1块的豆腐脑就够我和爸爸妈妈3个人吃了。那时我们没有现在富裕，但至少我是属于那里的。亲爱的，你知道我真正想要什么吗？

我想要一个家！

我想要一个关心我的爸爸，一个爱我妈妈的爸爸

而不是现在这个表面做的很好的爸爸。

我的记忆里，没有father这个词

或许当时我会选择和他在一起，就是因为从来没有得到过男人的爱。我的词典里没有父爱这个词，只有母爱。伟大的母爱，她为我牺牲了一切，我很难想象，那些年她是怎么坚持下来的？我也很难想象，当我离开广州去求学之后，她一个人该怎么面对一切，我不知道...

还有panic! at the disco

they r just soooooooooo awesome

lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her close off

我承认我不是很在乎某些事情，我的意思是，我已经成年了。

如果遇到我喜欢的人，又怎么样呢？

只是周围的男生，没有我喜欢的那种类型。

其实我的要求也不是很高了，对我好就ok了。

只要对我好，就够了。

爱我比我爱他多一点。

等待那个我的mr right

会是谁呢？

fran？

michael cera?

brandon?

ricky?

danny?

doctor?

gil?

是我爱上那个他，还是我爱上了我自己的影子？

the stranger i know

i saw the photo about him yesterday

actually i feel nothing like the feeling is so much different right now. i have deifinitely moved on since that summer. i have nothing to worry about now. he is not that person i wanna be with anymore. 

time pass away so many things changed, it is just that i don't know things are different now and sometimes the feel will flow up. but i believe that is just temporarily and soon everything about him will fade until i could feel nothing anomore.

Pos	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	+/-	Pts
1	Chelsea	4	3	1	0	9	2	7	10
2	Liverpool	4	3	1	0	5	2	3	10
3	Arsenal	4	3	0	1	8	1	7	9
4	Aston Villa	4	2	1	1	8	6	2	7
5	Hull City	4	2	1	1	5	8	-3	7
6	Manchester City	4	2	0	2	9	7	2	6
7	Fulham	3	2	0	1	4	3	1	6
8	West Ham United	4	2	0	2	8	8	0	6
9	Middlesbrough	4	2	0	2	6	6	0	6
10	Portsmouth	4	2	0	2	5	6	-1	6
11	Everton	4	2	0	2	7	9	-2	6
12	Wigan Athletic	4	1	1	2	7	4	3	4
13	Bolton Wanderers	4	1	1	2	4	4	0	4
14	Manchester United	3	1	1	1	3	3	0	4
15	W.B.A.	4	1	1	2	4	5	-1	4
16	Newcastle United	4	1	1	2	3	6	-3	4
17	Sunderland	4	1	1	2	3	6	-3	4
18	Blackburn Rovers	4	1	1	2	5	11	-6	4
19	Stoke City	4	1	0	3	7	10	-3	3
20	Tottenham Hotspur	4	0	1	3	4	7	-3	1

it almost laugh me to tears to see that hotspur only got 1 point and is at the bottom

stop those feelin' and let me get rid of everything 'bout u

i just log in to view my class blog.

pics about him

i used to take a lot but i deleted them after we were no longer together. it is just something that reminds me of those confusing times. look at those pics i found myself much changed this year after go to college. for this reason i should no longer think 'bout him any more. just it was over a long time ago, surely to move on and live my new life and leave all behind. but it is some kinda hard honey. i realised that i am so different compared with the person 1 year ago. not just the apperance but also inside. 

i can't help tears fallin'

i went to the library on Thursday just to find some maths book to read because I have some difficulities in understanding the fourier series. so on 5th floor i found a bood and i just read it. after finishin' the fouriers series i just found myself in the shelf of science. just pass that shelf i found those chemistry and biology book.

random took one, suddenly time fly back. everything again in my mind. those formulas everything so near i feel the atoms it's like they r always in my mind. so familiar. i just could help tears fallin.

biology is something i always want to learn. those livin creatures are all so amazing. 

thinking 'bout now the truth i can't change, i am a college student  major in civil engineering, something i never can think about when i was in high school that i may have a career in the future. Now the fact is this, what can i do?

closest stranger

so long why can't i just let everything go away baby

why u still constantly appear in my dream

why is all those dream so sweet

why?

just give me a reason

i don't want to know all the excuse u give

but i just want u to know 

i do care

3 years 

there's never been another one

baby

why?

tell me ok?

why i care about u so much?

i know u in canada

i haven't see u for more than a year

recently i thought this time i did it

i did forget u

but 

why i dreamt 'bout u last night?

dreaming about us

so sweet

u said that u still love me so much

even we are apart

baby

sometimes i thought if they never found out our relationship

will we still be together

or the situation is the same as now?

the closest stranger

find those childhood friends

I found him

the one i used to like a lot



what can i say?

amazing! of course



but suddenly it feel so strange

it's like everything is over so long ago

he is just a childhood mate



We havent met since i was 10

jan. 20 2000

the day i left

the place i have lived for 10 years

all my memories start there

my early life



but it is a past

a period of my life

the place i miss the most and i love the most



but i was not 10

i am 18 right now



and i wasnt 15 the year i fall for him the first time

the first time i fall in love

just so crazy

i didn't know right now what may happen if i could ever see him again

embarrassing? out of words? shock? sad? passion?



i really have no idea

it makes me want to cry

tears about to fall

but i have to be strong
i have to move on
that is all