at least i know what i want

it cant be more clear
if u ever come back and talk to me

i'm not sure about everything
but one thing i can be sure is that
we cant go back to before
we cant be together again

just suppose that
if this happen, which has a very small probability
the answer is no

i've changed
i moved on alone
all by my self
i used to get lost
i tried my best to stay him
he still said no
i know it is hard
but now there's nothing left there
only memory
the illusion of i love him

i'm sorry
but this aint gonna happen my baby
not even acquaintance
not even somebody i know

there's a time vortex between
millions of light years away
i let go already
baby

it's true
i have love you.

I'm sorry i still keep my promises to you

i still keep my promises to you.
it's been almost 4years.

i dont know if i will ever c u again.
and i dont know how long can i keep my promises.

a few years more or forever.
i dreamed bout u last night
it's not the first time.
there are a lot before.

i've always think about u will come back to find me.
but u never.

i dont know where u are.
i wish to hear ur voice
i wish to c u face 2 face.

i never stop thinkin of u.
i just cant let go
I've tried so many times to forget about u
forget about us.

but i just cant
i just cant

but u wont
u r already gone
i may never c u again my love

but i really love u
it's true
i never lie
i wish to start all over again.

but it seems impossible.
sorry my love
my first love.
i still keep my promises to u.

finally come the easter special of DW

that's just a long wait
from last year's xmas to this easter
but finally
finally
finally
11th apr is coming
what can i say.
i'll watch it later
kinda busy these days.

----
some memory bout high school
but it's just a memory.
i'm all grown up now.
im 19
i know i cant forget but ive already moved on
time cant be reversed.
even though i may fall into a time vortex
but my mind cant be reversed.

that all
keep everything to the good memory is the best way

why is him?

lying in the bed we used to

the sheet was the same as those days.

mom changed that for me

suddenly those memory flowed

time went back to 2005

i was 15

i got the best present that year

it doesn't matter what is the present

what matter is the person who gives u 

sometimes i still reminisce especially when i watch couples holding hands walking together

why is him again?

holding hands together

he walked me home...

just why

we kissed

why is him who appear in my dream?

it ends 3 years ago

everything ended long time ago

why is him still haunting me?

i should have already get over them

i cant forget.

why forget?

tears

i know it is hard to say anything more

about him

ABOUT A BOY

i know him

but he may not know me

i should know that there would be no result

why i still keep trying to hold on to him

mom told me that 

THERE IS NO WAY FATHER WON'T INTERVENE MY RELATIONSHIP

sometimes i really wish he could just pretend for a second

let me have the feeling several years ago

i never be with another one again

but i know it is impossible

even if he pretend i may not feel the same before

but just one thing i wanna know

what happened that summer

why he changed so much

how can he be a million miles away from me like we were in 2 galaxies

his parents forced he to break up

i don't know much

cos he didin't tell me much

they said that he wanted to protect me

is this the last thing he can do for me

dreams of u and me....

i hope that dream never ends

the story 'bout us

the love between us

i hope everything never ends

maybe we will never c each other again

this life

maybe next life

if we could meet

i think i'll fall in love with u again 

my love

i don't know what to say about us

cos i don't need to say

u know everything i  thought

never again

no my love

no mi amor

U GOTTA ROCK MY WORLD

THE ACADEMY IS....

passing my high school, those thoughts flow back

thousands of thoughts...

suddenly flow back

i haven't go back over these years.

really

those things still there

time did heal those pains

thinking back 

i only have one question now

DID WE REALLY LOVED?

I wonder if that is called love...

i have no answer

whatever

just forget about all that 

maybe it is just that i never had a father caring for me and i was thinking that maybe he could give me something i wanted from man

anyway i now know that i should be strong

there is no one i could rely on except mom

she is always that one

she is always there for me

all these years

even when i abandon her

she was still there

just memories sometimes hunting me

but not any more from now

cerebral concussion

what i remember?

i don't mean that i have a cerebral concussion, but him

that was about April, 2005.

he crashed into somebody else...

he haven't come to school for about a week.

i was telling him that i want to go to his house to c him

but he refused

after he came back

he had a black eye..

i remember on that monday he came back to school

he walked me home

holdin hands together

that was actually sweet

whatever these r just memories...

some sweet memories

just like back when i was in WUHAN

we usually go out on FRIDAY AFTERNOON

more than half the class

but after i left 

i never go out with classmate anymore

though sometimes i may go out with my friends

just 1 or 2

never so much people, like more than 20

sometimes i was thinkin that maybe it is that changing a new place make me lock myself inside

but the time i feel the change is in high school

i don't wanna hide but he did change me a lot

i can say that he changed me a loti

n many ways

actually after these years i know that i grow up a lot

more mature than i was 15

i may think a lot before i do someting 

so much changed maybe that is the reason i can't make things go back

and i could tell that I AM HEAL!

all the pain is gone

for sure

what has left is only those sweet times we spent together

i won't expect to c him one day

maybe this is what called destiny

;)

what we ever had is enough

i won't deny everything

all i know is that i loved him