i feel nothing when i see handsome guys

i am doubting whether i have the ability to fall in love again

it's been more than 3 years

i havent fall in love since then

i don't know where it went wrong

but at least i wanna make sure i could start all over again

is it because i havent met someone that i could fall

or that my heart has already dead

always some sweet dreams

always dreams...

what can't it just be real

i remember that guy called kevin...

just the same name of the guy in my first ever story....

he was really hot...

but that is not true

but those kissing really feels good....

damn....

who long do i have to wait???

score is not important improvement is important

the result is not improtant

it is important that i learn something all the way

RIGHT?

i don't get an A for all drawing assignment...

i feel sad

others seems have A+s As and A-s

but for me 

there is only B B- C C-

:(

I worked hard

but the result is not what i want

is that work hard than i could get what i want

i want a higher score

:(

i feel sad

but wait 

mechanics of materials 

mid term exam i got 85

that is good right?

anyway

i don't know

recently i feel so uncertain about the future...

i don't know why

just the feeling...

i start to use mobile to be online

opera mini is kinda cool

:D

cesc captain and fran is likely to be added to the squad.

GOOD NEWS

cesc definitely should be captain

and fran

go fran

anyway good luck arsenal

i don't know who can trust...

my life is such a mess

i don't know who i can trust

i wish i never grow up

i never had things bother me like this when i was like 4 or 5

i was happy

anyway

what i learn recently is that 

i ned to face the truth

like i can never get full score in my exams

and arsenal can never win title with kids..

that is the truth...

and what i can do is ACCEPCT it

whatever..

i found someone visiting my blog...

it is wierd 

nearly no one know the address

and i don't want people know my blog

because i don't want others know much about me

who is that person?

i am curious

:P

arsenal arsenal why can i say?

people starting to question Wenger

i remember a forenight ago i saw a poll on dailymail

who will be the next manager to get sacked

wenger is on top

is it wenger's fault that we get 4 trophyless season

we can't win with "kids"...

i don't know

loudmouth gallas is not captain now

dailymail said that CESC is the new captain

actually that is what i think

cesc should be captain

but beaten by city..

0-3

i dont know what to say...

arsenal

league title is now impossible

but is there a chance in cup?

let's wait...

that does not make sense

they got last years exam paper

and this year

the problem is almost the same

even the numerical value

speechless

can anybody help me out

i really have no idea

what to do

after these days

exams 

scores

everything is turning against me

i don't know if i could still hang on

who knew

the last kiss i'll cherish

until we meet again

i will cherish every moment we ever had

cos we'll never meet again

whatever the reason we fall apart finally

and theres no way to turn back time

i just wish u could pretend we were some kinda good friend

but it's all over..

forget about it

in your arms + desperate

i really wish someone to hold me

if i could feel his heart beaten

pointless relationship

it was all pointless

i never really fall in love with him

it is his Bday

i try to forget

but i can't 

3 years ago

the very last conversation

i decided to forget everything 

leave that relationship behand and start a new life

now that i'm sure

i wanna a new life

i can live a wonderful life without anyone

maybe weve tried

maybe it is that we r not a match

maybe it is not love between us

betray?

it was because of his mother or that he loved her?

that might be the reason...

i don't know

i just have the feeling of being betrayed

fuck... is this really the truth?

i went the lab this afternoon

my group has no plan

but the leader didn't tell me....

ok...

fuck it

i don't wanna say anything about this anymore

fuck

even if he called me later around 7

i didn't say anything mean

there is no use to say anything rude or whatever i wanna say

just i don't wanna say anything to anybody

everything is meanless

after class i called mom

i talked about something i feel about the class

and i dont feel that well

cos everybody seems to hide what they know instead of sharing what they had

thoughts is not like apple

u give me one i give u one

both of us still have one

u give me one thought i give u one thought

both of us will have two

but why people don't wanna share?

and i feel somebody really disgusting

what she behave in front of me is totally different from the truth

in other words i think she is look down upon me

whatever

i don't know

just wish i could get out of here soon

can i?

61...narrowly past the exam on TM

one thing i don't understand is that why i still got such a low mark

i studied much harder than the previous year

this is gonna kill me

i don' know why

theoretical mechanics isn't that difficult right?

but why i still can't get a score like 80 some

where is that problem?

any one come to save my world?

i got questions but i can't figure out the answer.

so much things 

the world seems so unreal

Supporting Arsenal is like having an Italian lover - you never know what's coming next but it's bloody exciting

that is right

absolutely right

i never know what is next 

we may win 

we may lose

but there is always surprise

and IT IS BLOODY EXCITING!

2-1 united 

awesome

i love u !

why is him?

lying in the bed we used to

the sheet was the same as those days.

mom changed that for me

suddenly those memory flowed

time went back to 2005

i was 15

i got the best present that year

it doesn't matter what is the present

what matter is the person who gives u 

sometimes i still reminisce especially when i watch couples holding hands walking together

why is him again?

holding hands together

he walked me home...

just why

we kissed

why is him who appear in my dream?

it ends 3 years ago

everything ended long time ago

why is him still haunting me?

i should have already get over them

i cant forget.

why forget?

it ends tonight

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain 

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends 

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

when darkness turns to light

it ends tonight

and it is really better to leave me along

tell me when the night is over

we are not over

but that night

after that phone call

and those messages.

everything ends

end of a era

it was a end of me and u

the story ends there

absolutely it was not the end i want

but think back

can we really go that far

there would still be an end one day

maybe not july 8th 2005

maybe some day later

there would be a goodbye

think back that wasn't a bad goodbye

at least we had it

the point is that at least we had it

that is enough

i know i would be regret if i hadn't tell him i love him

once is enough

and i know that once is really enough

forever is so hard

but we had it

once we had it

and those memories were sweet

i know i have loved u

eric dill

eric saying goodbye

eric singing MARY JANE

so wonderful

i didn't cry the day u moved away

i didin't think that i could feel this pain

until i saw the stranger that was u

i was wrong that was not the last

i wrote something last week 

i decided that was the last piece i wrote about u

I WAS SO WRONG

there will never be the end

u & me

though we r apart now

if i could have one chance

if u could just pretend for 1 day

that is enough for me

let me feel it one more time

just tell u 

u r not so far.