i wanna cry

i know that i am always jealous of others
i am not satisfies with the current states
i don't know
if i could get better
i wonder if i could really achieve something
all my life

i am thinking that i am off line
the line i drew 4 myself when i was young
i wanna make cosmetics
whatever
this dream is impossible now

choosing CIVIL ENGINEERING
means i gave up on bio-chemistry
gave up the thing i wanna do for a long time is not difficult
i know that CE can be fun
i know that learning is fun
BUT JUST ONE QUESTION

AM I REALLY HAPPY?

i am not sure
but one thing i could be sure is that i wanna a different life

over all these 18years
i don't know if i have ever been really serious.........

I know recently many things happened
i wonder if i could just get over them
but can u just stop a moment
listen to me
I'LL BARE MY SOUL

but the answer is that u never really listen....



no one really understands me
it is hard
i seldom show my deepest part

i don't know my life after all these tough years about being a student
can i really get what i want?
what i eager for?
what my life will be?

an indenpent woman or a housewife?




it is too late to apologize....






i am the only person who write and read this blog
whatever
this is a place for myself
i don't intend for anybody
just my life
i write
here
i don't expect anyone
really

and i know i could be a better person





Gil is right...

LIFE IS UNFAIR