Sunday, 30 November 2008

i feel nothing when i see handsome guys

i am doubting whether i have the ability to fall in love again

it's been more than 3 years
i havent fall in love since then

i don't know where it went wrong
but at least i wanna make sure i could start all over again
is it because i havent met someone that i could fall
or that my heart has already dead

Saturday, 29 November 2008

always some sweet dreams

always dreams...

what can't it just be real

i remember that guy called kevin...
just the same name of the guy in my first ever story....
he was really hot...
but that is not true
but those kissing really feels good....
who long do i have to wait???

Thursday, 27 November 2008

score is not important improvement is important

the result is not improtant

it is important that i learn something all the way

i don't get an A for all drawing assignment...
i feel sad
others seems have A+s As and A-s
but for me 
there is only B B- C C-

I worked hard
but the result is not what i want

is that work hard than i could get what i want
i want a higher score
i feel sad

but wait 
mechanics of materials 
mid term exam i got 85
that is good right?
i don't know

recently i feel so uncertain about the future...
i don't know why
just the feeling...

i start to use mobile to be online
opera mini is kinda cool

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

cesc captain and fran is likely to be added to the squad.


cesc definitely should be captain

and fran
go fran

anyway good luck arsenal

Monday, 24 November 2008

i don't know who can trust...

my life is such a mess

i don't know who i can trust

i wish i never grow up
i never had things bother me like this when i was like 4 or 5
i was happy

what i learn recently is that 
i ned to face the truth
like i can never get full score in my exams
and arsenal can never win title with kids..
that is the truth...
and what i can do is ACCEPCT it


i found someone visiting my blog...
it is wierd 
nearly no one know the address
and i don't want people know my blog
because i don't want others know much about me
who is that person?

i am curious

Sunday, 23 November 2008

arsenal arsenal why can i say?

people starting to question Wenger

i remember a forenight ago i saw a poll on dailymail
who will be the next manager to get sacked
wenger is on top

is it wenger's fault that we get 4 trophyless season
we can't win with "kids"...

i don't know
loudmouth gallas is not captain now
dailymail said that CESC is the new captain
actually that is what i think
cesc should be captain

but beaten by city..
i dont know what to say...
league title is now impossible
but is there a chance in cup?

let's wait...

Thursday, 20 November 2008

that does not make sense

they got last years exam paper

and this year
the problem is almost the same
even the numerical value


Wednesday, 19 November 2008

can anybody help me out

i really have no idea

what to do
after these days
everything is turning against me
i don't know if i could still hang on

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

who knew

the last kiss i'll cherish
until we meet again
i will cherish every moment we ever had
cos we'll never meet again
whatever the reason we fall apart finally
and theres no way to turn back time
i just wish u could pretend we were some kinda good friend
but it's all over..
forget about it

Monday, 17 November 2008

in your arms + desperate

i really wish someone to hold me
if i could feel his heart beaten

Sunday, 16 November 2008

pointless relationship

it was all pointless

i never really fall in love with him

Saturday, 15 November 2008

it is his Bday

i try to forget

but i can't 

3 years ago
the very last conversation
i decided to forget everything 
leave that relationship behand and start a new life

now that i'm sure
i wanna a new life
i can live a wonderful life without anyone

maybe weve tried
maybe it is that we r not a match
maybe it is not love between us

Friday, 14 November 2008


it was because of his mother or that he loved her?

that might be the reason...
i don't know

i just have the feeling of being betrayed

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

fuck... is this really the truth?

i went the lab this afternoon

my group has no plan
but the leader didn't tell me....
fuck it
i don't wanna say anything about this anymore

even if he called me later around 7
i didn't say anything mean
there is no use to say anything rude or whatever i wanna say
just i don't wanna say anything to anybody
everything is meanless

after class i called mom
i talked about something i feel about the class
and i dont feel that well
cos everybody seems to hide what they know instead of sharing what they had

thoughts is not like apple
u give me one i give u one
both of us still have one

u give me one thought i give u one thought
both of us will have two

but why people don't wanna share?
and i feel somebody really disgusting
what she behave in front of me is totally different from the truth
in other words i think she is look down upon me
i don't know

just wish i could get out of here soon
can i?

Tuesday, 11 November 2008

61...narrowly past the exam on TM

one thing i don't understand is that why i still got such a low mark

i studied much harder than the previous year
this is gonna kill me
i don' know why

theoretical mechanics isn't that difficult right?
but why i still can't get a score like 80 some

where is that problem?
any one come to save my world?
i got questions but i can't figure out the answer.
so much things 
the world seems so unreal

Sunday, 9 November 2008

Supporting Arsenal is like having an Italian lover - you never know what's coming next but it's bloody exciting

that is right

absolutely right
i never know what is next 
we may win 
we may lose
but there is always surprise

2-1 united 
i love u !

Friday, 7 November 2008

why is him?

lying in the bed we used to

the sheet was the same as those days.
mom changed that for me
suddenly those memory flowed
time went back to 2005
i was 15
i got the best present that year
it doesn't matter what is the present
what matter is the person who gives u 

sometimes i still reminisce especially when i watch couples holding hands walking together

why is him again?
holding hands together
he walked me home...
just why
we kissed

why is him who appear in my dream?
it ends 3 years ago
everything ended long time ago

why is him still haunting me?
i should have already get over them

i cant forget.
why forget?

it ends tonight

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain 

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends 

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

when darkness turns to light
it ends tonight

and it is really better to leave me along
tell me when the night is over
we are not over
but that night
after that phone call
and those messages.
everything ends
end of a era
it was a end of me and u

the story ends there
absolutely it was not the end i want
but think back
can we really go that far
there would still be an end one day
maybe not july 8th 2005
maybe some day later
there would be a goodbye

think back that wasn't a bad goodbye
at least we had it
the point is that at least we had it
that is enough
i know i would be regret if i hadn't tell him i love him

once is enough
and i know that once is really enough
forever is so hard
but we had it
once we had it
and those memories were sweet

i know i have loved u

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

eric dill

eric saying goodbye

eric singing MARY JANE
so wonderful

i didn't cry the day u moved away
i didin't think that i could feel this pain
until i saw the stranger that was u

Monday, 3 November 2008

i was wrong that was not the last

i wrote something last week 

i decided that was the last piece i wrote about u

there will never be the end

u & me
though we r apart now

if i could have one chance
if u could just pretend for 1 day
that is enough for me
let me feel it one more time

just tell u 
u r not so far.